Most  of us have been in a situation where they saw, perhaps sitting across the room someone they immediately felt an a strong inclination to meet, talk to and even love. However, they were bogged down by overwhelming fear and anxiety and instead grew cold turkey; too nervous to go over and start a chat.

Underlying this nervousness is the closely following immolating feelings of self  indictment and gushing negations driven by dominant thoughts; to the contrary persuading you that you don’t deserve that kind of person who probably you might be really attracted to. Thus you find yourself unyieldingly settling for second best.

Quite unnerving sometimes you may find yourself suddenly shaking and stuttering incoherently when eventually you run into them and decide to finally seize the moment and talk to them; given you have had a crush on them. Worst still, while initially you may have bellowed to yourself and convincingly  that you are going to get them good without faltering whatsoever; only to shamefully find out at the crucial moment that you have suddenly lost your words and thus goofed in front of them.

Additionally, one might find themselves in a good relationship but at some incomprehensible point out of the blues suddenly grow insecure emotionally with the end result of sorrowfully driving their partners away, thanks to feelings of clinginess mixed with self inflicted dose of imagined insecurities. It could be that you are head over heels in love with someone, then at some point you see them with other people and find yourself sailing the turbulent sea of jealousy and misplaced anger about them. Such destructive feelings are triggered by lack of self confidence in you and other people, brought about by nothing but fear. This is a serious social aspect that cripples many individuals effectively rendering them as unsuccessful at partnership building thereby denying them the precious chance of having and enjoying a healthy relationship.

Lack of confidence can open the door to  sickly feelings of self betrayals; leading the individual to painfully struggle just to make their life come through as desired.

Granted, at the opportunity of meeting  people face to face, especially if we deeply adored them may be unwittingly watered down with incontrollable acts of nervousness amplified with the fumbling of words may be quite natural. But if the  triggering fear  is deeply engrained then  the resultant can be  damaging to the individual’s feeling of self worth and  respect.

The bench-mark for successful  attraction of the opposite sex firmly lies in your best self coming  through  shinning even in the face of  nervousness. Perhaps, mixing it with little doses of smiles could go along way in endearing that special someone to you. It therefore calls for an individual’s initiative: staying in control of their feelings as reasonably convincing as possible so that people don’t misconstrue shyness or nervous behavior as a signal of distress to  the effect that they  simply don’t like being around other people.

The scenario of modern day relationship curiously stands out as totally and completely different from the relationship situation of yester years. Much as it is agreeably different; experts in the field  pine a myriad of observed features essentially rendering it as only slightly veering off-the extent of truth in the statement is however arguable.Some are of the opinion that the only different thing is the mode of operation associated with it, to be the one thing glaringly atavistic. But when all is said and done certain pertinent features of similarity still exist up to date from time immemorial.

Whilst the rules have greatly changed thereby in effect redefining the style the game is played in: modern dating scenario has critically re-packaged the definitive essentials; following a trail of complex and new social values that in turn have demanded subtle formerly  unknown individual sacrifices in order for the loving game to appear promising to both the man and the woman.

According to a blog by Brigid Bishop: “Modern day relationships are making men run from responsible relationships.” This fear apparently is fueled  about by the school of gender  parity that has irrevocably made women equal partners in relationships as opposed to what used to be before. Historically speaking, men were initially nurtured with admonitions of success and providence taking the bulk of bargaining chip. Women were groomed to be nurtures of homes and family house holdings. However, in today’s world; women have successfully asserted themselves alongside their male counterparts, seeing  them competing full blast in career fields, businesses, educational opportunities etc with unrivalled triumphs, sometimes exceeding the triumphs of the male-dom. For those impervious to change; this exponential phenomenon exuded by women who not long ago were thought to be the weaker sex especially in fields that hitherto were traditionally exclusive male dominated enclaves; has undermined the ability of some men brought up with the notion: Men are superior while women inferior. Consequently, the feeling of  them  having to share equal responsibilities in all matters affecting their lives as couples to be too much for their ego to bear.

Female energies throughout the years has amazingly transformed rapidly from the weak and docile, to the strong and assertive energies serving them well through their excellence in schools, colleges, university and job market; thus according an enviable status of merit which has economically and socially empowered them. However, the downside of it has also resulted into men feeling shamefully inferior, say, in the presence of a successful, well educated and high income earning woman. Others hold it that since a man naturally desires to be coddled and cared for by a women; the modern day woman’s unique and gender competitive advantage: has insensitively transformed her  into a home wrecker  rather than maker. The modern day career woman spends much of her time and sacrifice building her top-notch career portfolio; sadly at the expense of her relationship and family.

Everyone deserves the benefit of doubt when it boils down to meeting new people. Why? Simply because growing up as juveniles-of course with the very best of intentions-we were constantly admonished to be wary of anyone unfamiliar and never to talk to strangers. As adults, meeting people becomes an important social acumen not easily disposed.

Potential friends are found dispersed virtually everywhere in our respective domiciles, therefore a necessity informing  variant reasons for seeking to hang out with/or around them; from looking to start a new relationship, meeting them in the course of work, business, school, college etc

However, in opposition mostly founded on subtle prejudicial premises rammed into our psyches, example fear of strangers; make it sometimes a problem that could easily rob us a valuable chance with perhaps life transforming benefits. It therefore calls for a proactive approach to anyone desiring to have lots of potential friends in their lives to take a positive initiative of not just hanging around people, but making themselves as approachable and friendly as possible.

Meeting new people can expose one to unprecedented challenges bordering  from intimidation, inability to favorably open up, to striking the right note of conversation. The underlying trouble is brought about by the fact that many people find it much easier to freely mingle with others, when the ice has already been broken by circumstances. However, the opposite is actually true and quite easy.

As  popular maxim goes: If you can’t beat them then join them. At the onset, one must realize that nobody is perfect. Once the initiative has been taken, care should be observed not to get discouraged when their aspirations of meeting and making new friends hit a marble peach. Friends can meet easily through a number of forums or avenues which may not all work for everyone. However one should never get discouraged after say, attending an event and failing to  run  into anyone to get to know better. By and large, technically it may seem viable, but logistically appear difficult and discouraging.

However it may not be the time to deflate down  yet. One could just as instantly and effortlessly meet a group of amazing persons by for instance joining a club of choice. There is no perfect place to met someone: sometimes one has just to work with the available opportunity as readily available. Most of the time; the first step must be taken to invite someone along, for a walk, coffee, dinner or chat. This calls for tolerance of uncertainty and even rejection. Importantly, sociable, confident and congenial people easily meet new people regardless of where they do it. To be shy and insecure makes it harder no matter the avenue chosen. If that’s the case, curative steps should be taken against these inhibiting issues as well, before one fully gets attuned to enjoying the experience.